He's all about the Placenta. This last weekend we journeyed about in super secret training mode. It mostly consists of bagels, coffee, and a bit of dirt thrown in for good measure. Der Klumpen is clued into the honored training rituals of Blanco Suave. It's not about the fitness, but really getting one's ass capable of sitting on an upholstered two by four for multiple hours. I figure you can always eat more and keep going as long as Blancito and the twins are comfy. Der Klumpen has even threatened to bring out a new kit, just for the occasion. Blanco Suave knows the kit, but you lasses and laddies are gonna hafta wait and see. I predict much gnashing and wailing.
Der Klumpen was such a hero this weekend, he even went to Redding to race cyclocross. He had the B's in the bag until some cheating mofo decided to cut the course every where he could. Hope he has fun padding his resume with that one. Good job Ace. Way to be a real Eddy Merckx. I'm certain TreeFarm and Wicknasty are now looking over their shoulders and afraid of losing their factory spot. I hope the promoter upgrades his ass to the A's where he will promptly get it handed to him, if they don't hook his ass into a barrier first.
Blanco Suave decided to do a little cross training by looking at flooring. Aside from the mile long hike into Lowes, there wasn't much in the way of cardio. The thought of spending the better part of a long weekend moving furniture, stripping carpet off of concrete, and crawling around on my hands and knees did make the old back lock up in fear. Maybe I should be doing some crunches and stretching so the core isn't so suave. Nah, I think I'll have another beer and watch Cops to see if I recognize anybody.
Speaking of heroes and cross, Alessandro traveled up to the North Land to show all the metrosexuals how a Southern Oregon boy throws down.
Hope he had Pam all over his bike. At least it wasn't the kind of mud that coats the crevices and makes it feel like you have just spent the better part of 45 minutes spackling your crack shut, all the while covering your bike in a highly efficient grinding compund. It sure didn't look like fun to pedal an ever heavier bike as it loaded up with what I'm certain Alessandro hoped was clay and mud and not what it smelled like. Good thing for him he's got Baby Blue and Number Two, the Burley twins. A man has to have his options.
And on a final note, a good friend had his house broken into and four bikes stolen. If I wasn't such a caring and generous soul, I 'd say that the theft was punishment for having way too many 700c bikes. But if you see any of these, give the guy a shout after you've given the thief an ass kicking and took the bike (or bikes) back. Details below.
STOLEN Niner SIR 9 - Portland OR
This past weekend, my house was broken into, and among other things, 4 of my bikes were stolen. Please keep a lookout for the following and contact Portland Police (503) 823-2143 or myself email@example.com if you have any info.
Niner SIR 9. XL-ORANGE. Paul’s Thumbies XT Rear Der, SRAM X-Gen Front, Race Face Dues cranks, headset, stem and Next carbon post. One black and one grey Avid Juicy 5 disc brake. Salsa Pro-moto 17deg bars with Control Tech Stumpy barends, San Marco Strada saddle, Time Atack Ti pedals, Mavic A317 Rims, XTR centerlock hubs, Exi rear, Fast Track Front.
Colnago Super “fixie” 62cm YELLOW. Sanshin track hubs on Mavic Ma2’s. Campy Chorus headset, Super record 170mm cranks and front brake. Black Spire chainring, BB is loose.
Serotta Nova Special X 64cm ORANGE, Campagnolo Nouvo Record Group, Mavic GL 330’s Vittoria Corsa CX front tire, Cyclepro Rear, Campagnolo alloy Freewheel. White Turbo Saddle, Black cloth bar tape. Toe Clips and Straps.
Schwinn Paramount 63cm Blue w White Panels. 60th anniversary frame, Campy Chours 10-spd group, Ritchey WCS bar stem post, Look carbon fork. RED Time Equipe pedals. Embroidered San Marco Strada Saddle