What the Hell is Blanco Suave?

It's not what but who. Blanco Suave does not trifle with the ways of mere mortals and underlings who do not fear and worship at the great alter of the Suave. With his trusty sidekick, El Ocho, Blanco Suave crushes all comers who dare challenge their middle of the pack supremacy.



Actually Blanco Suave is a totally cheesy, self given nickname that I thought of after my friend, Scott came up with the brilliant idea of referring to himself in the third person as "El Ocho". It's become such a running joke that everyone at the cross races now refers to him as "El Ocho". Never mind that we all know that it literally translates as "The Eight". It sounds kind of like a cross between a name of a Mexican wrestler ala' Jack Black in "Nacho Libere" and the idiocy of giving yourself a nickname that your not quite certain what it means like Will Ferrell did in "Ricky Bobby". Well I gots to get me some of that action. I mean, Scott and I travel to races and ride together and it was starting to sound like I was becoming a sidekick. He tried to help out by coming up with the clever pun on my name, "The Thomohawk". He even would shout out last lap, "time to unleash the fury of the Thomohawk!" It was to no avail. So I did what any cyclocrossing fan of the Aquabats would do. I gave myself a better nickname. How is it better you ask? Well for one, it sounds all smooth, like Rico Suave, the jackass from the eighties. Plus, it's longer and has more syllables than El Ocho. That's always better. Also, there was divine inspiration when the name was thought of. It came to me as I was changing a light bulb. It jumped out at me right off of the packaging. The fact that it translates to "soft white" is just a sign from God!